Bittersweet

Bittersweet. This sums up exactly how I am feeling after going through my official last day of work today. I have been working at Mass General Hospital in pediatrics for almost four years now. The relationships that I have made with coworkers, families, and patients are something I will cherish forever. It has been such a blessing and honor working beside the most caring, loving, wise, and passionate people of Ellison 18. I will miss each and every person that I had the pleasure of working with and promise I will be praying for them all while I am away. Love you guys!

As I went through my day today it was more or less surreal. As I drove in this morning even though I knew it was my last day I wanted to make sure that I was a good nurse and was able to give the very best to each of my patients and their families. With only four hours left of my twelve hour day I was going pretty strong until the Butterfly song hit me… ughhh… One of my special little patients presented me with a thoughtful present and note along with a homemade vocal performance. These are some of the lyrics of the song she sang:
“And when I couldn’t sleep at night, scared things wouldn’t turn out right, you would hold my hand and sing to me. Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you’ll be, Can’t go far but you can always dream.”
Listening to this patient sing these lyrics brought tears to my eyes, okay fine, and down my cheeks and maybe a couple on my shirt. I reminisced to the many days and nights I had taken care of this little one and listened as she talked about her worries and dreams. After finishing my shift and giving out a few more hugs to my friends and patients I slowly made my way home.
As I sat down at my computer I couldn’t actually figure out how I was feeling. Buzz buzz… (that’s the sound my phone makes when it rings on my kitchen table)… Well God decided to send me a little gift via a phone call from a good friend of mine. After talking with her I realized the thing that I am most sad about are the many relationships that I have made over these past four years. Now as for the staff that I have been working with we BETTER stay in touch or else (year that’s a threat). But I am most sad knowing that most of the patients and families that I have cared for over these past years I wont be able to keep in touch while I’m away. (insert sad face here)
I knew I needed some God encouragement so I looked up a verse that was just what I needed. Ephesians 2:10:
“For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
I know that God has bigger and better plans for me; plans that he has been brewing for quite awhile. Yes I am sad and will be sad about not being able to see and talk with the patients and families that I have been taking care of but I know that they all will be well taken care of. But what about all the kids and families around the world who don’t even have a doctor to go to or a nurse to talk to. We have each been created by God to do good works, which he actually has blueprinted out for each and everyone of us. For now, I believe God wants me to go to Africa. What is God calling you to do?
So to finish this update I will say that today was definitely bittersweet, but that I know that I am doing this for God and this is all in his hands. I need to look ahead to the path he has pointed me toward and go into this adventure with 100% of my heart and soul to bring him glory in all I do.