Reality check..

This past week has definitely been a huge reality check for me.  There have been a lot of hard things that have happened over this past week and my heart was definitely feeling pretty heavy.  I felt like it was just one thing after another and whenever I felt like ‘Okay God this is all I can handle. You can stop now’, something else would get piled on. Since I have been on the ship, I have seen so many different miracles and healings take place that I pushed the possibility of bad things happening aside.  But this past week it was just one thing after another and I realized that yes God is definitely in this place but a reality check that we are also living in a fallen world.

I think, no wait, I KNOW God had a reason for halting my thoughts as I went to write out this entry.  Over the past 2 weeks as I went to write this entry most of the heart wrenching situations turned into something beautiful.  Bear with me now. 

As most of you know my friend Chitra, one of the guards, got hit by a motobike and was quickly brought to our ICU.  At first I was sad and confused thinking why would God let this happen? But now I realize how lucky he was to treated at a a top of the line hospital in Benin.  Then the prayer and love that was poured upon him from people all over the world was astounding.  Because of this, he is alive and well.  Praise God! 

The other heart breakers came from working on the wards.  I had two infants who were mentally disabled, with cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder and most likely will never walk or talk.  Now don’t get me wrong, through Gods grace and mercy we were able to successfully do surgery on both of these patients (one was a cleft lip/palate repair and the other we removed a 1.5kg encephalocele and placed a VP shunt) but my heart ached feeling like we were just putting a band-aid on a much bigger problem. Welllll… I found out today while at work that there is an organization, in Benin, that helps families just like these.  Hoorrayyy!! So far, so good.  I also had a patient whose father had passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks prior.  He told me that he wasn’t allowed to go to his own fathers’ funeral.  The community wouldn’t let him due to the fact they thought he was demon possessed because of the tumor in his jaw.  SHUT UP! (in my head, not outloud) It got me so mad/sad.  Over the next couple days I was able to talk with this patient more and we ended up having some conversations about Gods love for each of his children no matter what the outward appearance.  Later in the week that patient left with a big smile on his new face and hopefully some seeds were planted in his heart.

These types of cases happen everyday all over the world.  People are hit by motobikes and have no medical care.  Children are born everyday and aren’t provided with the services they need to live.  People are pushed out of communities just by what they look like.  But God placed these patients here for a reason, each specific one.  Life is so much more than physical healing as most of us know.  We could be the most beautiful and wealthy people and be miserable.  The love I have seen to patients and from patients is straight from God himself. 

 My good friend Leah gave me this song called “Praise you in the storm” months ago but it was something that helped me this past week.  The gist of the song is that we need to praise God amidst the storms in our lives.  We may stumble and cry out to God and he will lift us up again.  When we feel like our strength is gone and we can’t go on, God strengthens us.  Even though thunder booms around us we just have to listen for His whisper that says, “I am with you.”  Sometimes he gives us things and sometimes he takes away but we need to praise him through it all.  The song is called Praise you in this storm.   God is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He sees every tear that falls and he holds them tightly in His hands.  He will NEVER leave your side.  So when you feel like your heart is torn, praise Him.

1 comment:

jD said...

Hey, Becca.

Still proud to know you. ;) Often, we grow so much through our trials as we are being stretched by Him. Yet so often we fall into the category of playing it safe and within the comfort zone. I pray for you often, that He'll continue to lead you out of that zone as you minister there, but always under the shadow of His wings. You are prayed for sister; many days, I envy you.